Week 6

I did the bad and reactivated my Twitter. Did I have a good reason for it? No. I could make up a couple justifications for it: I was feeling lonely (which I probably was), I need to it to keep up with news relevant to my hobbies, I need to see certain accounts recent tweets for stuff I’m working on (something that’s been the case a couple times) In the end though, all of it is just making excuses for weak will.

If it gets to the point where I feel like it’s taking too much of my time, I do have the confidence that I can deactivate again. I only have two followers (one of which I’m not even sure reads my Twitter posts) Not a huge deal. I can also just install social media blocking plugins again.

I’ve been thinking though. I would like some more online friends. While I know they’re no substitute for real life relationships, not having a huge amount of freedom to move right now really limits my capabilities for making real life connections. Rather than sitting here feeling like I can’t do anything, I’d rather be doing something.

I used to have a very strong online life before I finally was able to settle into college. While I don’t necessarily regret prioritizing my real life, I do sometimes regret the ways I parted with some of my online connections (mostly just disappearing and never reaching out) I’ve thought about rekindling those relationships, but I’ve accepted that even if I knew how to contact some people again, it probably wouldn’t lead to what I’m hoping for.

While I still have a few online friends I do keep in contact with, the prospect of making new ones is a bit hard as there’s no venues I’m comfortable with anymore. Gone are the days of web forums, irc chatrooms, and weird niche community sites. Today people meet via Discord and social media. While from a distance it might not seem that different (IRC and Discord are pretty similar for example) it’s an entirely different ballgame for me. Call me a boomer I guess.

If I was living somewhere with a better net connection, I might consider doing streaming again. From both actual streamers and from one of my online friends who streams, I’ve seen that it can work, and I think that I could actually have fun with it (or at least I have some real ideas for it) Unfortunately it’s not an avenue I can pursue right now.

Though I can’t do anything live, I’ve considered doing Youtube as an alternative. It’s not the first time I’ve considered or even tried it, but in the past I’ve always backed out from being uncomfortable. Now I feel more like I can push past the uncomfortableness to maybe put out some content.

Granted it wouldn’t be the kind of content you’d expect someone trying to be a Youtuber would make. Instead, I’d make content talking about myself and the things I love. Kind of like what I used to/try to do with my blog. Except that it’d hopefully be way more approachable than a wall of text for the average internet user.

The only thing holding back is my unfamiliarity with video software. I’m not really looking to learn to be a full-time Youtuber, but I do know that you have to have some skills to get people to look and sit through your videos. Much as I’d like to keep it just audio recordings of me, I don’t think that’s going to cut it. I’m going to have to add images/video and maybe even show myself (insecurities >_<)

That all being said, I guess I just have to push myself. Nothing ever gets done hemming and hawing about it. The worst thing that can happen is I try and fail, but even then at least I’ll find out that it’s not for me, and that might be worth it on its own over it eternally being a what if.

I’ll keep you posted on what I do when I do it.

Studying Japanese has been fairly consistent, although due to the sheer number of Anki reviews, I’ve found that I haven’t really been able to take much time to read VNs or start any games in Japanese. I guess I could make the time if I tried a bit harder, but I’m hoping that soon I’ll get through this deck (I have 3000 unseen cards going at a rate of about 400ish new ones each day) and the reviews will be down to more manageable levels.

I’m not sure if this extensive focus on vocabulary is any more effective as using that same time just immersing. Part of me says it will be and part of me thinks it’s not. I know whichever I do it wont be a waste, but finding where I need to work on in my Japanese is rough. Especially when I’ve come all this way by myself.

I have considered talking to natives, or even other Japanese learners, but I lack confidence on producing Japanese in a real-time conversation. Though again, it’s probably just something I need to get over and push myself into doing.

Been working out a bit more. Not sure if it’s having a positive effect or not. One issue is that I can’t seem to gain much bulk to build into weight. I think I need more fat in my diet, but then there’s a bunch of things I shouldn’t touch (mainly chocolate) because of my GERD. It’s kind of a nuisance. I wish I could just get rid of that.

In regards to media

I finished watching the Gundam 0079 series (the first Gundam) In the past I had watched the three compilation movies in order to watch the sequel series, Zeta Gundam, with some friends. However, due to getting a girlfriend at the time, I never really took to Zeta Gundam (neither did my friends, although I think it was for other reasons) Later I would try to rewatch Zeta Gundam in an attempt to watch “all of Gundam” and while I would get through it and ZZ (double Zeta) I eventually stopped at Victory Gundam.

I don’t hold any grandiose ideas that I’m going to watch the entire Gundam franchise anymore. However, I decided I would still like to try. Although as it had been a while, I decided I could use a a rewatch of everything from the start. A lofty undertaking, but if I couldn’t do it then I probably wasn’t going to be able to do all of Gundam.

I went with the original series over the compilation movies because I remembered not remembering anything from those movies after a short while. I thought maybe the series could do a better job at getting me invested into the universe. Lo and behold, I was right.

The original series isn’t bad. I would even say it’s quite good. I think all the people recommending the compilation movies as a fast track at getting into Gundam are probably ignoring how it takes time for a lot of the characters/events to grow on you. They’re also probably not thinking about how if you’re looking to get into it fast, Gundam probably isn’t the series for you (given the sheer amount of content out there)

It’s also an interesting thing to watch for people who are interested in Japan animation in general. Given the amount of influence it had, I think there’s something to appreciate from that end.

I did start my rewatch of Zeta, although there’s not much to say as I’m only an episode in.

I’m still watching .hack//sign and 86 (yes I’m sticking with it) Progress on both has been slower due to prioritizing 0079, Mushoku Tensei light novel, and a new anime Goodnight World.

I heard about this anime via my alma matter’s anime club discord. A couple people were talking about it being really good Netflix series, and me being a sucker for good Netflix anime, I decided to check it out.

I want to say I was LOVING it up until episode 6, but when episode 6 hit I became conflicted. It looked very much like the show was going to be about one thing (which I was totally down for) and then it ended up being something completely different (which I haven’t made up my mind on) I really wish I could go into what I mean, but it would probably spoil the series.

Game-wise, I’m still playing Elden Ring to prepare for the DLC. Not enjoying it very much. I think both because I overplayed it when it released (I platinumed it on PS5 and got all steam achievements) and I’ve been used to Lies of P combat (which is much quicker paced and relies on parrying) I just find myself feeling sluggish and getting hit by everything.

If I hadn’t already bought the DLC (albeit at a deal) I might be tempted to uninstall and give up on it. That’s how bad it is.

I’ve been considering looking at Paper Mario The Thousand Year Door on the Switch. I’ve also been considering giving Trails in the Sky another shot and Unicorn Overlord. Honestly, no shortage of games. Just not enough time to play them or to even sit down and figure out what I’m interested in playing x_x

I should probably wrap this post up soon and get back to reviewing my Japanese. I get to see my best friends this weekend, and I’m super hype for that.