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  • maegamisama 9:54 pm on December 2, 2023 Permalink  
    Categories: blog ( 19 )

    Yesterday, I almost let myself get out of control with my spending again. I saw that a British anime site was selling Gundam series super cheap and I ended up making an order with Paypal’s pay later. Not even an hour later, I was racked with guilt and wanting to cancel. Thus I ended up sending an email and having my ordered cancelled today.

    Why do I do it? Why do I buy all this shit I have no need for? Why do I self sabotage my finances like this to begin with? You might be asking those questions, and after a long time asking myself those questions (many years), I think I can explain it.

    Let me first start off by saying that my explanation is no form of justification. All my reasoning for doing such things is based off unhealthy ways of thinking. Recognizing that, however, is the first step in order to overcoming it.

    Taking my recent incident as an example, let me walk you through the different thought processes (both conscious and unconscious)

    The deal was a pretty good one. For those not aware, normally Gundam series tend to cost like 50 bucks per set, but it’s not uncommon for most Gundam series to span two sets (Most 50 episode series come in two sets) Which means you’re most likely paying 100 bucks for most Gundam series. The deal discounted the sets to about 25 dollars and also incorporated a buy one get one. Thus you could get a 100 series for about 25 bucks

    The major catch was the blurays are region B (as opposed to A which is what US and Japan use) as the store is in England. Thus the only way to play them is to buy hacked blu-ray players. Which, had I gone through with purchasing, I would have also needed to buy (They range from like 100-300 bucks depending on how nice of one you want)

    Still, when you consider the cost of the US Gundam sets, you’re saving A LOT of money. I had at least 12 sets plus some movies which would have come out, if I bought them in the US, to over 600. Whereas with the cheapest region free blu-ray player and the sale, it would only be about 300ish. Insanely good deal.

    When you see that good of a deal, there’s a lot of times, at least in my case, where I start thinking about whether I can use that particular thing. It’s a habit I think I’ve inherited/been conditioned into from my father. Whenever we see something that’s a good deal, we start getting ideas in our head for how to use it.

    I had, in the past, started on a journey to see all of Gundam. While it’s very much something I’d still like to do, it’s been a couple years since I watched a Gundam series and now I hardly remember them. I want to start over, but since then I’ve also acquired a lot of other stuff I’d like to do (What can I say but there’s a lot of stuff that interests me, at least in my niches anyway)

    Seeing a deal that’s not going to last, however, reminds me that I wanted to do that, and I start thinking about “Well what if I take advantage of this now and that will both give me the incentive and a way of tackling this project” Not realizing that you’re invested in a bunch of other stuff and that you never do until later on when you see a stack of Gundam blurays clogging up a shelf that you were hoping to use for something else.

    Substitute Gundam for a bunch of other things, and you’ll understand part of my line of thinking. It’s a combination of FOMO but also stockpiling for a project I never end up embarking on.

    The other sort of big reason I buy so much shit, is recognition. We all know how people live outside their means in order to appear a certain way, and I’m no different at times. While I don’t do it with a wish to be seen as more than anyone else, I do do it to be seen in a positive light. Because then it feels like I’ve been accepted in a way

    Again using the Gundam blurays as an example, somewhere deep down I’m hoping it might impress someone. I’m hoping they’ll think “That dude seems cool, maybe I should get to know them better”

    Obviously, when brought to the surface of my thoughts, I know it’s an unhealthy way to think. Being part of my unconscious though, it can be hard to have it come to light. Especially in a moment where I’m thinking of buying something in the first place and all I can think is “I want this”

  • maegamisama 9:06 pm on November 29, 2023 Permalink  
    Categories: blog ( 19 )

    While this is normally the season many people are buying things, I’m doing the opposite and selling a lot of crap. Got a little out-of-hand with purchases the past year on top of not having much money from some bad decision making (there was quite a bit I spent on gacha games for example) Not in big trouble, but it was likely to take me most of 2024 to get squared away if I just relied on my income.

    I started selling stuff on eBay again. I had stopped briefly due to some new regulations, but thankfully those have been pushed back to next year (plus are getting adjusted to something far more reasonable) While I’m somewhat sad to let things go, I also feel somewhat cathartic. Honestly, I think if I could get rid of like 70% of what I had, I could see myself being a lot happier for it.

    I’ve decided to sell most of my physical video games, except for the few that I have bought collectors editions for and the games that have no PC port. I’ve realized that I don’t have time for 90% of them and stockpiling them for a rainy day is pointless. I’m thinking of actually going digital only for games here on out just because it will save on space and it will make me consider what I get much more since digital can’t be sold. Plus I figure if I’m ordering it digitally, chances are I’m planning to play it right after (like buying for being able to play at midnight etc)

    I’d love to get rid of some figures, but unfortunately I don’t really have a great avenue for that. Being used without the box is pretty much a death sentence. Even if I heavily discount them, there’s always concerns about how to safely ship them. I’d sell locally, but I live out in no-mans land practically.

    I’d like to also downsize the manga I bought into a few favorite series. The big issue is I haven’t actually read much of the stuff I’ve bought and I’d rather do that before prematurely selling most stuff. I guess I wouldn’t mind opting for digital here either, but it’s a little bit more complicated than with games (I like the manga feel better and there’s no distribution service like Steam) Going to have to think some more.

    I’ve also debated trying to sell my old computer and one of my laptops. Part of me is resistant to that though because I like the idea of having a spare (especially when my current cashflow isn’t equipped to buy a new one if things get rough) I guess I’ll have to think some more.

  • maegamisama 2:00 am on November 27, 2023 Permalink
    Tags: Like A Dragon The Man Who Erased His Name   

    Categories: video games ( 14 )

    Quick and dirty impressions of the latest Yakuza game (Like a Dragon The Man Who Erased His Name)

    Apparently this was originally planned to be DLC. While the story itself feels more than DLC, it’s not hard to see from the rest of the game that it was pretty barebones. 90% of the settings and extra stuff were things present in previous games. The few new additions (namely some of the combat gadgets and one new location)were things that wouldn’t be out of place for a DLC either.

    I understand somewhat why they would want to release it as a standalone game. That being said, I don’t think it’s really worth the price it goes for. At the most, I could say it’s worth 25 maybe 30 bucks. 50 is way too much, even if you consider that new games these days cost 70. If someone disagrees, all you have to do is look at Yakuza 8 coming out in January to see how much more content there is than this game)

    Thankfully the game was available on Gamepass, and the monthly subscription is more than worth it if you’re a Yakuza fan who wants to experience the story. I loved the game’s story. It’s probably one of the most emotional in the Yakuza series so far.

    I didn’t care as much for the combat. It might be partly due to them not putting their full attention into it, but I have a suspicion that it’s more because I’ve grown tired of the beatdown mechanics. While initially I wasn’t happy with Yakuza 7 becoming a turn-based RPG, I feel like after the fact, I’ve started to recognize it as a proper evolution to the series.

    Looking forward to 8 next year. While I’m excited to see Kasuga again, I hope they do resolve Joyru’s story a bit with it. That man deserves a happy ending.

  • maegamisama 3:13 am on November 18, 2023 Permalink
    Tags: Star Ocean 2nd Story   

    Categories: video games ( 14 )

    Star Ocean 2r Review/Impressions/Retrospective/whatever the hell else I feel like 

    Several months ago during a Nintendo Direct, a remake of Star Ocean the Second Story was announced, and I lost my fucking shit. Why? Well. I could just leave it at “It’s one of my favorite psx era JRPGs” but then again there’s a lot of those (the Playstation was stacked) For anyone that doesn’t know the game, it probably doesn’t do a good enough job on selling it. And while I don’t feel obligated to sell it, it’s one of those games I want to sell because of how underappreciated it is.

    First, a little bit of context on my original experience. Star Ocean is a series that is made by Tri-Ace, a group of developers that split off from the original group who made the Tales of games. If you’ve ever played a tales game before, it will become immediately evident with some of the same systems (even the items are similar, just different terminology)

    The first game was released only for the Super Famicom, at first, and didn’t have much of a presence until the 2nd story was released in the west. Why the second story was brought west, I could only say is probably thanks to how well Final Fantasy 7 performed.

    I don’t think I ever bought the game myself. Rather, I had an online friend at the time I would exchange RPGs with that I think let me borrow it. Though I did buy my own copy later I know (because I think I ultimately sold it like an idiot)

    The game features a dual protagonist system (which I thought was neat) but I only ever ended up playing the guy my first and only time back then. Why? Well I think I indentified more as a man back then and was more interesting in the potential romance relationships.

    You see Star Ocean 2 has over like 100 endings (you get multiple of them per beating the game) and they’re all based on which of your characters have the most affection with other characters. For someone like me who was just getting heavily invested in romance VNs, I found that aspect really appealing and incredible ambitious

    That’s actually the running theme of SO2. It’s incredibly ambitious. There’s like an overabundance of shit you can do and while it’s not all implemented flawlessly, it’s still all pretty fun. You can, as one example, pickpocket any NPC(even your friends) for rare items. Or you can craft incredibly powerful things and easily break the game as early as the first couple of hours. The game possibilities seem endless.

    Combine that with the private action system where you can see special events with characters you travel with. There was a lot of stuff that made the game feel a lot BIGGER than it actually was. For people in the west who had never experienced the first game, I think it carved out a huge niche for itself to live up to..

    The plot, while nothing incredible(still enjoyable), was still fresh as most JRPGs were fantasy based. Again, I think it was FF7’s success that convinced them a futuristic RPG like Star Ocean could do well.

    Unfortunately, the subsequent entries weren’t as great. Partly because they made some odd directional choices with the story (the story of the Star Ocean games are all in the same universe) and partly because they didn’t quite expand enough on what the second story had set up. Of course, I’m mostly speaking for myself here, but ultimately while I didn’t hate any of the subsequent games (even 5 which everyone seems to hate) I found them incredibly lacking in comparison to SO2’s glory

    Replaying the remake, and playing the game for the first time in over two decades, I definitely enjoyed experiencing a lot of the stuff I never did in the original (starting with the girl character, recruiting a lot of characters I never played with before) Though I do admit that a lot of the initial excitement I had for it (both when I played the original and when I heard about the remake) fizzled out. I think because I knew that even though it was a good game, that there wasn’t a lot of of hope the Star Ocean series could ever be that again

    Like it’s most recent game, 6, isn’t bad at all, but now I’ve mostly forgotten it. It was more of a filler game while waiting for other big releases. Telling people who like the 2nd game to play it or any of the other entries just feels wrong (even though I don’t think they’d be as impressed given what they have available today)

    So yeah, In short the original SO2 was godly. The remake is also good. It could have used a bit more quality of life in the form of things like being able to fast forward everything (you can only ff scenes) and by incorporating some kind of cursor memory/last item used system for some of the crafting. I also kind of wish they had included the English voices from the original PS game for nostalgia..

    OH Yeah speaking of voices, if you do JP voices, I highly recommend you do the SE voices rather than R voices. Much much better.

    In terms of other recommendations, I see a lot of people recommend Rena these days, but I think the best protagonist is still Claude. True you miss out on ONE exclusive character who can be pretty good, but he’s not THAT important (especially considering he’s outclassed by other characters) The reason I suggest Claude is that I feel like the game is kind of designed around his perspective more. Ultimately it doesn’t matter that much, but if you’re facing choice paralysis, I’d say go Claude

  • maegamisama 1:58 am on November 13, 2023 Permalink  
    Categories: blog ( 19 )

    I’m taking another indefinite hiatus from social media. This time, I’m aiming to keep off it for a year while I get myself in order. Right now, it’s just not doing anything for me other than exasperating my negative emotions, and even when it’s not, it’s often encouraging me to engage in non-productive behaviors (like buying a lot of shit I don’t need)

    I’ll be posting here more, most likely. Though I’m going to give myself a few days (maybe even weeks) to center myself

  • maegamisama 10:10 pm on November 8, 2023 Permalink
    Tags: shinsekai yori   

    Categories: anime ( 5 )

    Along with Nagi no Asukara, I also finished watching Shinsekai yori (from the new world) The premise is that humans at some point develop psychic powers. Due to the nature of some people, however, they come to either abuse or lose control of them. Essentially leading the world down an apocalyptic path and creating a dystopia of sorts.

    Normally the information of the past is tightly guarded by a select few, and children are watched closely out of fear. However, a certain group of students randomly come across some of this old info, and their fates as well as the course of events are radically changed forever.

    This one is an interesting series. If you’re a huge fan of children dealing with a dystopian world (like I am) you’ll probably enjoy it. Similarly, if you like things that keep you on the edge of your seat or deliver some pretty strong philosophical messages, you’ll probably get a lot out of this series.

    I will say that the way it tells the story can be confusing. If someone were to watch it, I’d recommend you actively watch it versus passively because it’s really easy to miss stuff. Hell, even I’m not 100% sure I got everything out of it that I was supposed to.

    There’s no OP song, but the first ED (the one I posted here) is a banger. Loved hearing it every time an episode ended.

  • maegamisama 9:51 pm on November 8, 2023 Permalink
    Tags: Nagi no Asukara   

    Categories: anime ( 5 )

    I finished watching Nagi no Asukara yesterday. It’s a series about these people who live in the sea and their relationships with people on the land. More specifically it follows a group of kids from the sea who are forced to attend school up on the land and them dealing with the increasing tensions between sea and land. Even more specifically, its one of those series where there’s a lot of complex romantic entanglements (A will like B, B doesn’t know who they like, C likes A etc)

    My feelings on it are mixed. I am mostly happy with who ended up with who at the end, but the melodrama was overdone. I found myself wanting to roll my eyes when certain characters would cry and run off and then get chased (It would have been fine just once, but it felt like all the time) I would have instead preferred to see more episodes devoted to characters getting to know each other better (rather than a lot of the dramatic turns they throw at you)

    Ultimately not something I regret watching. but not something I’d ever recommend

  • maegamisama 9:20 pm on November 1, 2023 Permalink

    Categories: blog ( 19 )

    It’s time for a bit of an update on me.

    Lately, I’ve been feeling good. Really good. The reason why is still somewhat unclear, but what it comes down to is that there’s been something wrong with my gut for the past several years and I’m only now starting to find some relief for it.

    To be more specific, I’ve had numerous health issues that have been bothering me for several years now (4 or 5 at least) Random alarming body pains, weird pulsations, constipation, and acid reflex. While maybe not all related to each other (unsure) they were really interfering with my quality of life. Enough where I went to the doctor several times (and several different doctors) to get some kind of direction.

    My regular doctor would just give me blood tests, all of which would come back normal. She would tell me that I’m just getting old and that I needed to take fiber and laxatives. Which I did to minimal improvements. Another doctor told me it was fibromyalgia (which they then admitted is basically a doctors diagnosis when they don’t know what’s going on) (Basically them giving up without really trying) Another doctor, upon learning some family history, gave me a referral for a colonoscopy which was quite an ordeal (but otherwise showed no problems) Oh and I also got tested for allergies once

    My own suspicion was either something with my stomach or neurological. I figured the constipation/acid reflex was a stomach problem and the pains were some kind of neuropathy. I even wondered if they might be related. The doctors I saw seemed to dismiss the idea, but honestly I feel like it was outside their field of expertise. I wanted them to refer me to a neurologist or someone who knows the stomach, but my guess is doctors wont refer you to a specialist unless they themselves have some idea (and just need confirmation)

    In any case, doctors weren’t really stepping up to the plate, and it was causing me a lot of frustration. This on top of the frustration with where I was in life and time ceaselessly marching on, really fucked with me for the past several years. And while I wouldn’t go as far to call the last several years irredeemable, I would say I wasn’t anywhere near where I needed to be.

    But now things are different. While I’m still not sure exactly what’s going on, I feel better and closer to an answer.

    You see, in my quest to figure out what’s causing my issues, I started a new probiotic. A few hours after my first dose of it, I noticed I had developed some itchy spots. This wasn’t the first time I had experienced itchiness like it, but I found the timing to be somewhat suspect. Reading online, I then found out about something called histamine intolerance

    While it wasn’t a perfect fit for everything wrong with me, I wondered if it might really be something with my gut. So I’ve started doing a few things like eliminating my consumption of milk and taking only half of the two pills of the dose of my probiotic.. and well.. I haven’t faced any issues of constipation since.

    That’s not all though. I find myself feeling a lot less depressed and anxious. I’m also a lot less irritable.

    I still deal with random pains and acid reflux like symptoms, but I feel like they’re a lot more manageable now that I’m not also dealing with the constipation. Who knows, they might also get better with some more time. I can’t really say for sure.

    I do have a physical sometime in the future, and I plan to ask my doctor more. At the very least, I hope that if they don’t know they can give me a referral to someone who does (for once) That’d be great..

    But even without that, I feel myself heading more and more towards a positive direction as of late. Hopefully I’ll have some more to share in regards to that over the coming weeks

  • maegamisama 1:02 am on October 19, 2023 Permalink
    Tags: Lies of P   

    Categories: video games ( 14 )

    The past couple weeks or so I’ve been primarily playing the newly released Lies of P on Game Pass. As a huge fan of souls games (played every one of them excessively minus Sekiro), the game seemed the closest souls-like game to a Fromsoft title ever. Turns out it was a lot more similar than I was expecting.

    Maximilian Dood, a popular Twitch Streamer/Youtuber, said it was the first game that wasn’t a souls-like but rather an actual souls game, and I’m inclined to agree with that sentiment. Nothing else has ever come this close to feeling like a Fromsoft game. Now that this exists, in fact, it’s caused me to look a lot more critically at other souls-likes (It’s much the reason I didn’t pick up Lords of the Fallen)

    I can’t sing the game’s praises any higher other than to say it’s given Resident Evil 4 a good run for it’s money as both game of the year and as one of my favorite games. I eagerly await DLC (moreso than Elden Ring at the moment, though that’s more recency bias)

  • maegamisama 8:06 pm on September 28, 2023 Permalink

    Categories: video games ( 14 )

    I’m not a huge fan of horror media. While I like to occasionally feel unnerved by a story, I don’t tend to take a lot of enjoyment from being scared. In fact, due to a somewhat traumatic experience when I was young, I mostly try to avoid horror media.

    That extended to games until I watched a friend play Silent Hill 2. I’m not sure if it was due to it being dated (this was in 2014 or so) or if it was just being older that gave me courage. However, having enjoyed his playthrough, I wound up playing both Silent Hill 1 (Clunky and doesn’t hold up), 3 (Amazing game), and 4 (bit different, but not bad)

    Since the success (relative) of Silent Hill, I was tempted to try other games I’d long avoided. On that list was Resident Evil. Resident Evil however was even more dated than Silent Hill (with 3 entries being on PS1) and were notorious for their tank controls (Which I think Silent Hill 1 might have had, but honestly I can’t remember)

    I ended up getting involved with other games and forgot about Resident Evil for a while. It wasn’t until they announce a remake of RE4 (the one a lot of people heralded as the GOAT) that I thought about giving it a shot again. I played RE4 remake and was blown away.

    It’s too bad that RE4 is considered to be a lot different than it’s predecessors. Namely all the things I liked about the remake, I’ve read aren’t huge part of the previous games (The open nature) Thus it’s unlikely I’ll ever play the previous ones at this point, but it looks like Capcom might be working on more games that go in that direction

    Most recently, they released a DLC for RE4 called Separate Ways for 10 bucks. After spending 3-4 hours on it initially, and then at least 20 hours on replaying it, I have to judge it as amazing as the original game. Especially since it’s only a 10 dollar DLC (honestly they could have gotten away with more)

    Even now I still find myself booting up RE4 to challenge myself further. It’s one of the few games I can say really belongs on a list of being the greatest games ever (Along with games like FFVII, Suikoden II, Doom, etc)

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