I’ve been quiet recently due to a number of different things. Mostly it’s been my seasonal depression mixed with an inability to commit to anything media-wise right now. The sole exception being Final Fantasy XI, which I returned to this past December.

I’ve been reluctant to mention it outside of some new friends I’ve made because for a while, I was not sure if this was a healthy decision or not. My history with the game being what it was (something I might talk about more later if anyone is interested) I was a little concerned it might consume me like it had in the past.

That concern still exists, to be clear, but I’ve decided to handle things in a different way than usual. Rather than keeping it a secret from people or completely swearing off the game, I’ve decided it’s better to be open and honest. I’ve decided to try to learn to manage the addiction better. Is it folly? I hope not.

I do want to try though. Having spent so much of my life dedicated to this game, there’s naturally a few things that I feel were left undone on my character. I also really miss the days when I had a group of friends I could just talk to online about various things. If I could somehow do that while managing my time better, I feel like I’d be pretty happy.

I’ve given myself a bit of a time limit. Right now I’m playing pretty heavily to play a bit of catch-up on some stuff, but I’m hoping that by March I can settle into a healthier playstyle. One where I can do other things in addition to hopping on every day (or every other) and also develop my social skills more (Rather than being the hikikomori I’ve developed into)

If I can’t then I will hard quit. I will delete my character for good this time. That’ll be the end of that. Though I hope it doesn’t come to that.

I have been enjoying my time back more than I have the past couple times I’ve tried to play again. Having an actual linkshell with people you can talk to makes a huge difference. Previous times, I had resigned myself to playing alone multi-boxing to accomplish the goals I had, but that burns you out quick (Not to mention paying 3 monthly fees is a lot)

So far I’ve managed to still make time for what’s important. I still go out to see my friends and play Fortnite with them when they ask. I think when I get a few more things I want done and can adjust to the flow more, I can make it a routine that I can control

That’s what I’m aiming for at least.

Let me start talking about some of my goals in-game next post