I watched a video, actually a couple, that said instead of trying to avoid being distracted with brute willpower you should try to create something. The idea, I guess, is that you’d still get dopamine, and potentially do something productive. I’m attempting to try and do this, although, like usual, I’m having difficulty silencing the part of myself that’s way too critical of my efforts.
Yesterday, I had a combination endoscopy/colonoscopy done. It’s the not the first time I’ve had a colonoscopy, but it is the first time having an endoscopy. Thankfully, it’s done at the same time and there’s nothing special that you need to do for it. Though the preparation for the actual colonoscopy this time, didn’t go as well as my first time.
Essentially, for a colonoscopy there’s two different things you can do. You can either drink a bunch of Gatorade with Miralax or you can drink this solution. I’m not sure why, but for whatever reason my doctors have always given me the solution rather than letting me do the more palpable Gatorade one. That said, while the solution was bad, I had no problems getting through like 9/10ths of it the night before.
Unfortunately, there was a problem. First I was meant to drink only 3/4ths the night before and then the remaining 1/4ths the next day. The jug however made it very difficult to judge where exactly 1/4 was. I also didn’t want to save as much as 1/4th for the next day as I had to travel over an hour, and there was not really room to be hitting up the bathroom as much.
The second issue is that while I hoped to drink the remaining 1/10th of solution that morning, I had an issue sleeping that night. Perhaps due to that, I also ended up developing a pretty serious migraine. The kind where if I tried to drink any of the solution, I’m 99% sure I would have vomited right there and then.
I did vomit, in fact. On the car ride there I ended up vomiting (mostly stomach acid so it burned my throat something fierce) It was unpleasant, although I felt a million times better afterwards. Which thankfully helped me get through the procedure alright. Though the doctor did note that he had trouble seeing clearly due to inadequate bowel prep (I would try to explain to them, but I doubt it made any difference)
They apparently removed one polyp, saw some kind of mucous anomaly with my colon, and took some biopsies to be analyzed with the endoscope. Not sure if any of that is going to lead to anything, but if it doesn’t, I’ve been thinking of potentially changing my doctor/medical system lately. Might be a good point to get second opinions.
For now, I’m trying not to dwell on my health as much. Worrying is just going to keep me from doing and that’s going to just further set me back. Better to do things that will at least put me on a path rather than sitting there confused and lost.