To be completely vulnerable for a moment, I’m always concerned I might not be accepted for who I really am. While I try to tell myself that’s not true (by remembering certain family and friends), it’s never quite convincing enough to shake the insecurity. Past trauma along with insecurities I’ve developed over the years has made it difficult to ignore.

I know, logically, I need to stop that behavior, but ironically it takes a lot to not give a fuck about something. Though maybe the key is rather than not giving a fuck about these things, I need to give more of a fuck about not giving a fuck. Maybe I need to actually practice being overconfident where I’m not. Maybe I need to fake it more until I make it.

I’m honestly not really feeling up to writing much right now for this week’s entry. I might do an addendum post later this week, but today I’m feeling kind of like I need to make myself do something else to avoid the pit of frustration/depression I find myself wallowing in at the moment.